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AYAKO NEMOTO: No one can replace me as a mother

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AYAKO NEMOTO: No one can replace me as a mother



As part of the JENESYS (Japan-East Asia Network of Exchange for Students and Youths) Program implemented by the Japanese government, I had the opportunity to visit the home of Tetsuya Nemoto and Ayako Nemoto, parents of three children, in Kamakura, Japan to learn about their lifestyle. It was wonderful to see how they devote their time to the education and upbringing of their children. In specific, they welcome tourists to their homes every year in order to introduce their children to the culture of people from many countries and teach them communication skills. Currently, the number of domestic and foreign tourists they have received has exceeded 100. The young couple opened a special notebook to keep the comments of each guest as a memory for their children. Because of this, their eldest son Yu (12 years old), middle son Shun (10 years old) and youngest daughter Rino (four years old) communicated freely and openly with us even when they first met.

They also designed and built their house with modern solutions to ensure a healthy and comfortable living environment for their children and moved in last year. Every member of the family has a bike. They said that they like to go on bike trips together in their spare time. In addition, in order to provide all opportunities for the education and development of the children, the spacious house was filled with toys, books and a piano. Housewife Ayako mentioned that her children spend time at home not using smartphones, not only studying, but also reading or playing games. Ayako shared a part of her life in the following interview.

It seems that your family always eats together at the same table in the morning, afternoon and evening, which creates a positive, warm atmosphere and relationship. Is this a tradition in your family or is it normal for Japanese families?

Most of the people I know and around me have a “custom” to eat as a family. It allows for a closer relationship with one another. I enjoy these times because I feed my children nutritious and balanced meals and have warm and intimate conversations with them.

Since my children are still small, I spend a lot of time with my family. However, as they get older, I think they will spend less time together like this.

Thank you for treating us to delicious harumaki (crispy Spring Roll wrapped with a filling of pork, shiitake mushroom, carrots and vermicelli). What kind of food does your family usually cook and eat?

We have breakfast at 7:00 a.m. and dinner at 6:30 p.m. One of our family’s daily meals is miso soup. To give my children enough nutrients, I enrich miso soup with vegetables. I also usually enjoy making nikujaga (meat and potato stew), fried chicken and harumaki. We also love eating curry, pizza, pasta, mapo tofu and dumplings.

What does your family usually do on weekends or in your free time?

On weekends, we watch movies, do shopping, make takoyaki (a kind of dumpling, made from grilled puffs of seasoned batter with octopus meat), and play with clay. In his free time, my eldest son Yu often goes to the park or the beach with his friends by bicycle.

Your children spend their free time productively and happily, away from a TV or smartphone, playing brain games and reading books. In general, how and in what way do you educate them?

I try to teach them simple but important words of communication like “thank you” and “excuse me”. In other words, it can be a basis for them to learn to treat others with respect and build good relationships with anyone. I think this is a skill they must learn.

During your visit, my children spent a day playing with you and having fun. It’s great to see them open up to people, so my husband and I try to welcome as many tourists as possible into our home. So far, more than 100 people have visited us. The best thing is that my children are learning a lot and becoming “friends” with people from many countries and different personalities. Every person who visited our home left a precious memory that my husband and I cannot give to our children. Therefore, we think that this is the most important value of the education we provide to our children.

It is not true that every child in Japan is away from TV and phone. There are cases where even a primary school student has a smartphone. Many children are addicted to screens. Our older son wants a cell phone, but we don’t think it’s the right time. Therefore, we pay great attention to spending his free time productively.

They also sleep after reading. I think you both care a lot about your children’s education.

Yu and Shun read the books they want every night. It has become their habit. They like to read manga but Rino is four years old now and has not yet learned to read, so we try to read to her every night as much as we can. Some of her books don’t need to be read, they have pictures, so she flips through them whenever she wants.

Your middle son plays the piano well. In general, how do you get your kids involved in extracurricular activities? In Mongolia, some parents push their children to develop their sports or artistic talents.

We used to live in Yokosuka, which is close to the sea. My children used to practice canoeing there. They were introduced to this sport when they were in kindergarten and elementary school. After that, they wanted to study, so we gladly supported them. Shun is also learning to play piano music to anime tunes.

How do you and your husband divide the housework? Do you have the same responsibilities in your family?

I do most of the housework. My husband helps me a lot in his spare time. There are many families around me who share the housework and do it together. I believe that there is a fixed role that only fathers have to play, and that only mothers have to carry. I think the most important role of parents is to create a safe environment for their children.

My husband is an elementary school teacher. I also used to work as an elementary school teacher, but I quit after I had my first child. I made this decision because it was important for me to take good care of my child. There are many female teachers here who manage their work and life. Someone can replace me as a teacher. But I thought that no one could replace me as a mother. Currently, my children are growing up, so I am working part-time in a media organization.

How do you think young Japanese families preserve their traditions and culture?

Our family strives to follow traditions and customs as much as possible. For instance, during traditional festivals, we wear kimonos and eat mochi (rice cakes). Moreover, we try to introduce our children to the culture and customs of our country by participating in some traditional holiday activities.

Why did you two decide to live in Kamakura? Do you think and plan to live here in the future?

We intend to live here because we came to Kamakura and felt that it is a friendly city for children to grow up in. It seems that there are many families here who care about their children’s education and development. Kamakura is home to many fascinating ancient artifacts. It also has beautiful nature, surrounded by the sea and mountains.

How much do you know about Mongolia?

At first I imagined Mongolia as a vast steppe. Thanks to the pictures, videos and stories you have shown, I am glad to know that there are many beautiful natural formations and urban areas in addition to steppe. I would like to visit your country and ride horses someday.

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